Most of you will know Bob Uecker but mainly because of his role of Harry Doyle in Major League. Despite his abysmal stats, he still managed to stay in the bigs for six seasons. But Uecker was best known for his quotes. Here is an anthology.

Uecker was mostly a backup catcher in six years in the Majors. He played for the Milwaukee Brewers, St. Louis Cardinals, Philadelphia Phillies, and the Atlanta Braves. His lifetime average stood at .200 (exactly at the Mendoza line).
Here are some of his best quotes:
“Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.”
“I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.”
“When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.”
“If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.”
“In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.”
“Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.”
“I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.”
“Baseball hasn’t forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven’t lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.”
“When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout and they were already in street clothes.”
“Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.”
“I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.”